Thursday, August 31, 2006

My Dream Date With Jill

If you got all excited when you read the title to this post, I am sorry to say that Curly and I are still strangers. Sorry Dawn.

So (gotta stop starting my posts with “So” or my seventh grade English teacher is going to hunt me down and castrate me) – anyway, I have been looking for a posting topic that would be something I could turn to every week, once or maybe twice. Something with a recurring theme to keep the VLs at bay.

Jill suggested that I might invite questions from the various women that visit the sight, in an ask Grumpy format. Relationship woes, Ask Grumpy. Dating issues, Ask Grumpy. Foot Massage technique, well, you get the idea. Alternative, I could pick a dating experience from my past and blog on that instead, using that to illustrate some point about keeping a guy happy or making him unhappy.

And I like these ideas. For the first idea, y’all can send in your questions, and I’ll do my best to answer based upon my dime-store psychology (which incidentally has been more often displayed on other people’s sites, in response to their posts (and you know who you are, Steph)), and on the fact that I am a man with a lot of dating experience (which is the result of being 36 and single and living in NYC).

So after suggesting what I consider to be a pretty good idea, if I do say so (I do, I do), Jill came up with an idea for the first post, which to me, has nothing to do at all with the topics she suggested. Here is her question for the first post:

Please describe your concept of a "perfect" first date with Curly. :)

Now, for the unitiated, Jill Is curly.

So the question is, what in the world does the perfect date with Curly have to do with these blogging ideas. Anything? I can’t figure it out.

And why does Curly think that she would be a perfect date? And is she asking what I would consider a perfect date with her? Or the average guy? Or, more likely, is it what Curly would consider a perfect date with a guy that she would consider a perfect, um, guy to date.

Cause I aint no puy-fect guy to date. And I don’t aspire to be. And worst of all, would be to set the bar so high with a perfect date that no relationship following that first date could ever match.

Of course, you could argue that all of those things are simply considerations in deciding what would be that perfect first date.

I think I need a beer. Discuss.

21 comments:

Jill said...

You're a nut. I'm going to respond to your ridiculousness just as you do on my blog with ALL CAPS.

And why does Curly think that she would be a perfect date? I DON'T. I'M ASKING WHAT YOU WOULD IMAGINE TO BE PERFECT. I AM IN NO WAY SAYING THAT IT WOULD ACTUALLY BE PERFECT IN REALITY. And is she asking what I would consider a perfect date with her? YES. Or the average guy? WELL, IF YOU FALL INTO THE AVERAGE CATEGORY, YES. Or, more likely, is it what Curly would consider a perfect date with a guy that she would consider a perfect, um, guy to date. WHAT??? NOW YOU'RE JUST CLEARLY DEMONSTRATING THAT YOU ARE IN NEED OF SLEEP, SEX?? SOMETHING.

The request was very clear. I wanted you to describe your idea of a perfect date between you and me. What exactly would the night consist of where you would walk away and say, "man, that was a perfect date"? Can I be any clearer??

JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!! lol.

Also, I will demonstrate exactly how this request falls within the ASK GRUMPY concept that I suggested. I am asking you Grumpy about your concept of a perfect date with me. I have no doubt that many female readers will gain a great deal of knowledge regarding a man's psyche when it comes to dating and a man's concept of dating "perfection". Accordingly, this falls perfectly within the concept that I suggested and I would like to think that we all would like an answer.

Right Steph?? Right Dawn?? Right Gus (Gus, just work with me here, okay?? lol)

Grumpy O. Selznick said...

I'll wait til ppl have a chance to chime in, and then we'll see where this goes. But yes, I am in need of sex. Arent we all?

And since Steph is my sister, she'll probably lack an opinion on this.


As if!!!

Anonymous said...

G -- that's OK, I'll be patient. You have the whole long weekend ahead of you. I'm leaving town in an hour or so, so I won't even be around to bug you about it. So (yes, I start sentences with 'so' too ...so what?) just do it! Uh, when you're both ready.

Jill -- right!

Anonymous said...

You're a freak G -- she simply asked what would be your idea of a perfect date with her? None of those other things that you rambled on and on about. I am on Jill (Curly's) side.

Grumpy O. Selznick said...

Anon- and you are? And you understand that my post was tongue-in-cheek?

ab said...

I absolutely agree with you Jill. (I usually do :)

Hey, Grumpy - Answer the question!!

Grumpy O. Selznick said...

Shocking that you agree with Jill, Bitter. Shocking.

Can we get some impartial imput here (read - someone with a Y chromosome).

ab said...

Answer the question, Claire!

Jill said...

Hi all,

Just checking in to see how the Grumpy v. Curly debate is coming along....hmmmm...so far, it looks like Curly's winning doesn't it?? ;)

ab said...

Yes it does :)

Grumpy O. Selznick said...

debate? that would be based on logic, not gender. but im gonna answer the question, if only to quiet the yapping.

ab said...

I can't wait to see the answer... get hopping Grumpy :)

Rachel Heather said...

oh i have dating questions

plenty of them

plentyyyyyy of them

actually the guy i am dating now is very clear about his feelings, very honest about his intentions and everything

my only questions for you would be about my ex LOL

btw Jill is high class - you would have to pull out all the stops for her

Grumpy O. Selznick said...

steph. shush
rachel - good for you. send em over under anonymous if that works better, just lemme know that its you via email or something. maybe a codeword.

Jill said...

Nice!! Should I grab some popcorn for this?? ;)

Rachel: Thanks for the compliment. :)

Anonymous said...

Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha ‘olam - my goodness Grumpy what have you gotten yourself into!!!

It's time Grump, tell her about the trapeze

Gus

Grumpy O. Selznick said...

whats the trapeze?

Anonymous said...

dunno big guy, but you'd better have an ace somewhere up that perfect first date sleeve of yours!!

Gus

ab said...

LMAO Gus!

But, when all is said and done, I have faith in my brother. He'll pull that ace from outta his sleeve.

Right Grumpy?

Jill said...

Grumpy: Are you going to make me beg?? Please don't make me beg.

Grumpy O. Selznick said...

How else will I get you on your knees?