I have to be better about not listening to all these people in the peanut gallery about this and that with respect to my relationships. When I have a view on something, I should just go with it – I have a very good sense of people (if not always myself). When something seems off, it almost always is. I spent a lot of time learning about relationship dynamics. Why would I disregard that effort entirely - do I really need this advice. Bitter, Gus, sorry. Next time, I am on my own. No offense, but maybe my standards are different from yours. Or different from yours on my behalf.
I am not gonna go into specifics, but needless to say, I am a little grossed out. Against my better judgment, I did something and allowed it to continue, and now I see quite clearly that I should have gone with my instincts sooner rather than later. By taking so much longer, I invested myself and my emotions more than I should have, and now, I feel a little bit nauseous about the whole thing.
One time, with an old flame, is one thing. A second time, in four days, with an idiot, a confirmed idiot, is, sorry to say, same old story.
UPDATE
The foregoing is a description of how i feel. It isnt a bashing of SG. She doesnt deserve to be bashed. Shes a great girl, she just needs to make better choices.
25 comments:
I haven't been commenting on ANY blogs from work, but I have to break that rule for this.
If this is about what I think it is, this post has to be one of the meanest things you've ever done.
And I'm ashamed to be your sister.
But I guess considering you're not speaking to me right now, that's a mute point.
yeah well why would you ever see something from my side, anyway.
That's such bullshit. Yeah, I never see anything from your side.
Sorry to have to break it to you, but you really don't have a say in what choices she makes. YOU broke up with HER. Therefore, I have to wonder why you are still so emotionally invested that you would feel "grossed out" that a friend took her out to cheer her up because she was sad over not having you in her life anymore.
She doesn't deserve this, and you know it. If you can't be nice, stand by YOUR choice, and stay away...
i do have emotions. im not a robot. i care. but i dont want her hurt. just spoke to her (she called me). Im staying way though.
Not on this you dont, steph. just stay out of it, like ive told you a zillion times.
I've totally stayed out of it. You don't even trust me / give me enough credit to return a phone call.
That hurts me.
Just in case you were wondering
I wish I had something of value to say.
I think everyone involved is hurting in some way and the emotion needs to stabilize a bit before it can get worked out in a civilized way.
Dawn
Ur always sweet. Thanks for the understanding.
Amy - Sorry. Not taking the bait. THink of me as a terrible guy, you are her friend and she needs you.
I actually don't think of you as a terrible guy at all; I know Jill wouldn't date an asshole. Commitment-phobe? Maybe. Scaredy-cat? Possibly. But not a bad guy. And by the way, I don't dangle bait. I'm usually pretty damn good at saying what I want to say without needing to ask anyone else to grab hold. But thanks for that.
Good luck to you, and thanks for laying off our girl.
Grumpy - unfortunately I am very sick and reading this makes me want to vomit. Truly. Don't you think you have hurt her enough by breaking up with her? I don't know you and for that I am SO happy cause from everything that I read (and absolutely nothing that Jill has said which still boggles my mind how she could think good things about you) you're an ass.
Just to let you know...everytime you say negative things about her...it just makes you look like a bigger ass. Again..figured you would know that by now...guess not.
Grow up and leave her alone...find something better to do with your time.
I'm glad your sister commented that this is one of the meanest things you have ever done, because I was shocked about how shitty and inconsiderate this post is, and I don't like thinking that anyone is mean to the core.... especially someone my friend thought was kind of cool for a while.
Why you would take a deliberate stab at someone who you cared about and spent time with, who has been so forthcoming about her feelings for you is beyond me.... maybe you're not mean to the core, but definitely cold.
You made harsh judgements about SG in the last few days and didn't keep them to yourself when you should have. Bad choices? She was trying to make it work with you and now obviously that was not one of her best ones. But your choice could have been to do the right thing: you decided not to try to make things work her, so why not just fuck off, so she doesn't get more hurt and you don't have to progressively make yourself look like more of an ass?
I wasn't going to comment on this post. I've changed my mind. All of your updates and addendums just proved a couple of things:
- You acted before you thought of the consequences of your words. You really hurt someone and it doesn't seem like you even thought about that while you tried to prove your point.
- You've had plenty of chances to show some true remorse. Again, absolutely no signs that you're sorry about what you said.
Maybe, just maybe, you need to worry more about your actions for a change.
Let me think, I immediately saw the post and still don't know what is the best way to answer.
Lets try several variations.
- Whom did you write this for? Yourself or your readers?
or
- Can't you grab the phone, or use email, to tell people to piss off? Especially if they are (somehow) friends.
You disappoint me Grumpy.
or (and my personal favourite)
- Dude, you still pissing about this on the internet?
Where is the Grumpy who otherwise always has advice in comments? The constructive one?
Nah I don't think any of those is appropriate. I have been VERY offensive on my blog in the past, but certain things I don't put out there, self-censor can be a nice thing. Oh btw is this the blog of that producer that just won a price?
Just saying.
You just lost a great girl. Your loss, not hers. Your post proved that.
Well given that you all are dealing with perhaps less than complete info. I'm not gonna argue my case especially against an angry mob started by my own sister. You all can think what you want and be judgemental but that does not make it right.
Not judging at all. I wouldn't allow myself.
But wouldn't mind to mail you and explain what I mean, if at least I had an email address. You can mail me yours tho at amifamousnow [att] gmail [dotcom]
For what it's worth - I don't see anything about this blog posting as "mean". As someone who doesn't know the girl in question, I think it is horrible how everyone is attacking Grumps for writing what he honestly is going through - isn't that's what he is supposed to do?
Grumps, I think you did zero wrong in writing this post, and I am sorry that your feelings are hurt, but I am even more sorry that people are being so ridiculous about you writing your blog as you always do.
delurking to say you done good Grumpy. too bad you had to meet the girl in person, that's all. all these girls worship her. your sister obviously worships her too and needs a reality check.
don't listen to some of these dumb, desperate comments. it's all insanity.
good thing you got out of this when you did obviously.
hate that "grossed out" feeling. sorry G.
i feel like i didn't get to read the original post.
but yeah, when i read that she was getting "cheered up" by that dude who fucked her over all those times, i thought the same thing.
life sucks. what can you do?
Amy - Pass
Blondie - Wow thats surprising you feel that way. BTW, I have not been the one initiating contact.
Ms. M. - Funny you say that...
JonB - Please, like you know anything about this. At all.
Jen - Great, Im not arguing. Just not great for me.
Aiden - Dont know what I did to deserve this,.
Heidi - Thanks Sweetie. I am done throwing stones. I probably could have worded it better, but there is def a crowd here that enjoys the drama so they would rather take anything i write the worst possible way. So be it.
Lozo - Yeah, which one dude? And i didnt delete anything - just added the update.
many many women just worship drama - not a certain person. I say this as a women. Would Grey's Anatomy be half as interesting without all that McDreamie drama - course not. We feed on it. So take it all with a grain of salt.
people need to stop blaming others for their problem. everyone needs to understand that they are responsible for 100% of what happens to them.
This is why it is always a good idea to look at oneself. Look in the mirror - not at others. Patterns arise.
Grumpy - I understand you are pissed. You could have worded it better though. Just my two cents.
You seem like a good guy - I would not think too much of all this. Breaking something off with someone does not make you a commitment phobe. It does not make you scared. It does not make you an asshole.
Breaking off with someone does not mean they are saying the girl (or guy) is bad or whatever either.
Nothing means what a lot of people make it out to mean.
Again my two cents
One more thing - girls are loyal to girls - always. Jill is a girl that girls love. She is just one of those kind hearted ladies that everyone wants to be friends with. Plus a lot of girls relate to her. So girls get territorial about their friends. A guy breaks it off and he is the butthead for making your friend cry.
such is life.
:)
i assumed i didn't read the original post because everyone was calling it the meanest thing you had ever done.
seeing as how i've done meaner things this week to the homeless, i.e. urinating on them while they slept, i didn't see what was so mean about what you did.
i didn't think it was mean. at all.
but there's a lot to be said about the comment before this one.
That was a brutal bashing. I hope you're OK.
dawn, im cool. no problem.
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