The text messages were fast and furious yesterday, with insults well punctuated by entreatments (e.g. “Shall I kill myself now”) which were planned to get a reaction. My bad, they did.
We spoke at length, in a long winding conversation that proceeded from complete denial to semi-apology to recognition that she wasn’t ready to be involved in a relationship. I mostly talked calmly and did some listening. I tried not to be too forgiving, but I said that while I didn’t like the way things were, that didn’t make her wrong, make it her fault or make me angry (long-term at least).
And no, I am not hurt (despite having been upset).
She wants to be friends? Still don’t know what that means. I told her I needed some time to think it over. She asked if we could see each other before I leave for the Festival I am going to. I said, probably not. I don’t know that I want to see her at all, much less that soon.
I feel like I’ve already walked down this road, and there isn’t much point walking back up if I am just going to have to walk back down it in another few months. And I am pretty sure that’s what would happen.
4 comments:
Aww. I'm sorry. :(
well, life happens
i think you're right not to walk down that road again. if it's not working why prolong it? as for being friends, that just means you're not rude next time you run into each other, unless she just wants to further her career. it's not like you want to hang out and watch a movie together? let's face it, you'd just end up in bed. then you'd be right back here, wondering if you really want to be with her.
Course, I'll be back right here anyway, so thats not so much of a reason.
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