To be loved, To be loved...Oh Baby, To be loved

Birthday, mostly uneventful on any kind of grand scale, came and went. Which is ok, im 36. But people from work did get together and get me a 150 dollar gift certificate to BLT, one of NYC finest restaurants, and I got pretty good birthday cake, and Big Man, my biz partner brought me 4 movies (Fearless Vamp. Killers, Divorce Italian Style and Straw Dogs all referential to the upcoming Horror movie, and Ronin, for no particular reason). Got a bottle of good red from my bro, shit between us can be water under the bridge. I don’t have the energy to stay with it, and he finally brought me a fuckin check, and it’s a bank check, so it can’t bounce.

Had some people down to the studio – had wine and beer on the deck, and it was a little chilly. And DB (who I believe paid for the gift certificate) got E, her mom (Ugh) and I a table with a few other people at the Blue Note. Band wasn’t that good, but it’s the thought that counts.

Actually, doesn’t it only seem that the thought is what counts when the gift sucks. Why is that?

Got calls from the people that count, those I didn’t see. Most of em. Not from the ex – wonder if it occurred to her. Course I didn’t check messages last nite, but this saves me from having to call her back. Pain is still here, maybe, sis, but the relationship is dust.

So meeting E.’s mother after going out for a short period of time. Kinda easy, cuz the woman doesn’t speak a lick of English. She musta known who I was. Been instructed that women tell their mothers everything, that the mother would have known exactly who I was when they showed up at the studio. If she didn’t then, she does now after multiple PDA between E and I. I guess I have credibility.

Do I want it, a completely different question.

Though Im leaning towards yes. Yeah. I do. OK.

Got a call from the beauty queen today, of course. Timing always seems to work out that way. Dunno if I will call back, could always downshift it to the friend zone. Women love that, they love being rejected.

Well they don’t quite love it, but in some way it does turn them on, make them interested, in that what am I missing kind of way. No, Sis, not all of them, and not once you’re already involved, but at the beginning, the Neg is king. The more I neg, the more women I respond. And the better looking or more desirable they are, the more Neg required, the more they need.

Bring on the Neg.

Oh. And I can prove that ahm not that cocky, cuz im posting a bday pic of me that absolutely sucks ass.

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