On the flight back to NYC from Salt Lake City, after a week in Park City for Sundance, Slamdance, Snow and Sex. We’re only gonna be discussing the first two, because I didn’t go skiing and I don’t kiss and tell (not without compensation at least). Hopefully film related matters can keep you entertained for the next few minutes.
All in all, I spent eight days in Park City, though not quite as close to the primary “Festivities” as I thought I would be. Had a really nice condo near Kimball Junction, which normally isn’t more than a ten minute taxi ride to Main Street, home base for both Sun and her wicked brother, Slam. But on days where the industry is departing for the airport, like Monday after opening weekend, you can’t get a cab. Like you call up, and they say, ninety minutes. Or they don’t answer. They just don’t answer. And you’re sitting there, on the other end of the phone, like “Hello?” And the phone rings and rings and rings. And then you try again. Nothing….Hello? What the Fu**!(*&$Y#$(
Anyway, you get the idea. I didn’t actually even make it into the Main Street area on Monday until the evening when the taxi parade had died down a bit.
But this blog isn’t about traffic patterns. It isn’t about logistics. This particular entry is about the movies and biz of Sun and Slam. So lets get to it, shall we.
The week kicked off with the realization that at Sun, tickets are a scarce and well-guarded commodity. Even tickets to movies where you’ve raised a sizeable portion of the equity of the movie. So on Friday nite, when the Ten premiered, I went to the party (also that nite to the Snow Angels party), but actually didn’t go to the movie. I was with a friend V, and the chance of getting two tickets to the movie was absolutely zero. So instead, I settled for Tuesday screening tickets, and headed back to the condo a bit on the early side.
Tickets across the board at Sun were tough, but it’s just a learning process. And in the gaps, I was getting great tickets for Slam, because of the production deal Angel Baby has with them now. I am a sponsor. Free coat. Free hat. T-shirt. And all the redbull you can drink (not just for sponsors).
The great people at Slam (John, Peter, Sarah, and Kate) wanted me to see every movie, it seemed, so I got to go to anything I wanted, even things that were sold out. They put aside tickets for me for screenings I hadn’t even asked about in case I wanted to see them. And I saw a bunch of great stuff up at the Treasure Mountain Inn, where Slam takes place, including the audience award winner, Murder Party, a hilarious send-up of Williamsburg hipsters killing as performance art, Cold Prey, a taut slasher flick from Norway with great acting and direction, and the Jury Prize winning Tijuana Makes Me Happy, with a half-narrative half-doco style feature that was definitely unique and interesting. In addition, both Murder and Tijuana had NY filmmakers. Go team.
Down the hill, at Sun, the ticket pickings were scarcer, and I thought based on what I was hearing and seeing, less consistent. Aside from the Ten, which I found to be hilarious in parts (so did Variety) and overall very amusing (and which Ain’t It Cool News described as the best movie at Sun, 9.5/10), I saw Houndog (not my favorite, despite the presence of Grumpy fave, David Morse), and very over-hyped because of the Dakota rape thing. Also saw Low and Behold, which was exec. produced by former Film Sales Co. exec Jared Moshe (now at Sidetrack), and is, perhaps, the best true independent movie I have seen in years. Aside: What I mean by true independent movie is a movie with no stars, no names. Just compelling storytellings, spot-on acting, and great comic moments mixed in with the tragedy. Its represented by William Morris Indy, so I hope it sees the light of theatrical day. Y’all should make a point of seeing it. Miss it, and you’ll be missing out.
Other than that, I saw a few shorts programs, including Slamdance Winner Cow Thief (a definite PictureStart Film Festival invitee), took some meetings, hung with the City Lights boys, the Dough Boys guys, and David T. a bit, met Adrian Grenier, whose excellent short, Across the Hall was in the last Picturestart, and generally chilled (especially when the temperature dropped below 0F). Thank god for long johns.
The parties were fun, and I ran into a bunch of people I expected to and a number more that I didn’t expect to. The Ten had two parties, a private, exclusive one where Harvey made the rounds, and a bigger one that saw near-riots outside when people couldn’t get into the Premiere lounge. Thankfully I was already inside, escorted by Exec. Producer Jack Fisher. We actually left that party early, to go see Cold Prey up at Slamdance, a decision well worth having been made.
Besides, Jessica Alba wasn’t there.
(Though I met actor/producer Paul Rudd, who told me he plays cards with Hot Baby star Brian Vincent every Tuesday, and the very gracious Ken Marino (writer and co-star of The Ten), who I ran into a number of times with Director David Wain, who I’d already met at the National Board of Review Gala a few weeks before). Winona was there, but I didn’t have an opportunity to say hello.
We also hit the Snow Angels party with David T. from Crossroads. Also at the Premiere lounge, different nite, a key sighting was Dustin Diamond (Kate Beckinsale wasn’t in the house, and I didn’t see Grumpster favorite Tom Noonan). Kept trying to get V. to take a pic with Screech, but she declined. I guess she didn’t want to end up on his next internet video.
Dough Boys, the Louis Lombardi directed movie, which was co-produced by Peter Orphanos (who developed the My Brother website, mybrotherthemovie.com), had a party as well, at Celsius. (Louis, best known for 24 and for being the FBI agent that flipped Big Pussy on the Sopranos, was very friendly and gracious all week. We went to dinner a few times, including at terrific and expensive steak house Prime, where Michael Apted and Antonio Banderas were dining at the same time) And NY Film Commission had a party up in the hills, but we were so wiped out the night of that party, we never made it there.
Of course, an absolute highlight of the week was meeting Nathan and Bobby, the young authors of the Slamdance Horror Screenplay competition, with their script Slaughter (FYI- not a romantic comedy). From the UK Midlands, these guys (one of whom works in a video store, just like Quentin Tarantino did), flew to Salt Lake on a day’s notice when they found out they won the Horror Competition. One of them (Nathan I think) had never been on a plane before the trip to LA from Heathrow. How amazing is that. And they are bright-eyed and ready to go, do a little script polishing and get on set. I think we really hit the jackpot with these guys winning the Contest. Not only did they write a great script, but as people, they are just a pleasure to be around and are themselves a great story to boot. Having Nathan and Bobby on is gonna make this experience even better. And it was already gonna be great. Cheri W. from Maverick and I got on stage to announce the winners at the Slamdance Awards Ceremony and give them the award, which they accepted with terrific grace and class. Little do they know that members of the Slamdance staff pee on the Sparky trophies before they are handed out.
Seriously. Wash your hands. It’s a Slamdance tradition, but its kinda gross.
Anyhoo, now I am back on the plane to NYC. Pretty good flight, except that they are showing the movie I paid to see on the way out here, Invincible.
That’s OK. I had a great week.
Talk to y’all soon.
Grumpster.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Friday, January 19, 2007
Airplane Blogging: Park City Edition
Halfway through a flight to Salt Lake City. Salt Lake is the nearest major airport to Park City, where I will be spending the next eight days or so. Many of you will know why, some of my newer readers may be able to guess. Lemme spell it out for you.
I’m going dancing. Sundancing. Slamdancing. I’m in a “festive” mood (yeah, believe it). I’m here as a production executive on something called “The Ten,” which the Hollywood reporter would have you believe is one of the two biggest buzz movies of Sundance. Look it up. I am also here for the Slamdance Horror Script Competition, which I am sponsoring and from which, I will be producing a horror movie this year.
Where was I. Oh yeah.
Sundance and Slamdance, two of the largest film festivals in the world, both take place in Park City during the last weeks of January. The story goes that Robert Redford had bought property in the area and was looking for a mechanism to develop the property into something more valuable than beautiful mountainside. Sundance, indirectly, was born out of that need.
When Sundance started, it was a much smaller deal. Films were much more “independent” in nature, meaning that they didn’t have big name actors, producers, and certainly not the parade of agents, and producer’s reps and sales agents that films at the festival today do. There were no bidding wars over the most “commercial films” at the festival, because there really weren’t enough bidders, or the films of that nature to bid on.
Through the early nineties, as Sundance matured, and after Miramax (now the fellas at the Weinstein Co.) had done a great job making indies chic again, for the first time since the early seventies, audiences actively looking for something different informed the money guys the best way they know how. They went to see movies that were not made within the studio system. They went to see Pulp Fiction (which is, I guess, an example that jumps to mind, but it of course began well before 1994).
Anyway, with the studios, and hence agents, managers, sales reps, and various comglomerates now interested in the “indie,” the face of the indie film changed. This of course was assisted along the way by the studios increasing interest in producing (as opposed to acquiring) only formula movies and tent poles, and their waning interest in kudos-type films (except for a couple per year, not nearly enough to keep actors in the hills filled to the brim with accolade). A-listers began slumming on low-budget projects, things that they thought might be more likely to (1) reinvigorate a career or (2) get the coveted academy award nomination. With this increased attention, the trickle down began, movies, good and bad, with stars heretofore beyond the means of their budgets, began pounding on the gates of Park City, looking for the magic popcorn deals (called that because the sale takes place between the sales rep and the producer in the lobby of the movie theater while the audience is still on their feet, giving the director and cast a standing ovation – anyway, that’s how the dream goes).
So when the stars and their producers and the agents and their lackeys and corporate cronies started pounding on the doors, Sundance grew and grew.
And then, there was digital.
And it was good. Once in a while.
The digital cameras developed in the eighties and improved in the nineties made it possible for almost anyone with a little bit of money to make a movie (which is a long stretch from saying that they should have made a movie). In any event, with the cheap technology, and no need to buy or develop film stock, the numbers of indies being made in the nineties skyrocketed.
Needless to say (Many sucked).
I’ll go further. Most sucked. Of course, that’s not to say they are worse than the many of the studio movies, but they didn’t have the marketing pull of those movies, with few of these micro budget films having stars or story lines that were well suited…
I’m rambling. I’m sorry. Point is, that they were a lot more movies, both made with bigger budgets and stars, and most with either Steve Buscemi or that guy who played the drug dealer in Pulp Fiction. You know, the guy from Some Kind Of Wonderful. I can’t remember his name right now. But you know the guy.
Sundance was flooded with these A-listers and international productions, and the smaller indies mostly were squeezed out, particularly genre movies (horror) and comedies (well, to be clear, they were never really invited). In the ultra-serious Sundance, there was no room for them, most of the time.
Thus, the wicked stepbrother of Sundance, Slamdance, was born. Fouunder by Dan Mirvish and Peter Baxter, Slamdance began as an itty-bitty alternative festival up the street from Sundance, taking place simultaneously. Like a remora, but in a good way.
The remora grew until it became pretty darn big. Seventh largest film festival in the world. That’s a big fish.
Still, it provided a more “indie,” less Hollywood alternative to the events in Park City. And it still does. Slamdance has movies with names, but isn’t focused on stars. In a weird way, though, Slamdance, because of the interest of the programmers in the horror genre and in documentaries, has been successful to some degree in breeding a commercial outlet for the films it shows as well (Mad Hot Ballroom was a big sale at Slamdance in recent years). As some of you may know, Hollywood is a little bit interested in horror (like a new one every other weekend in wide theatrical release) but hasn’t necessarily had the best luck in coming up with new franchises (see, e.g. remakes of every seventies and eighties horror film currently in release or being remade). So its always looking to buy.
Anyhoo, as the horror craze continued, Sundance, which had focused on drama, saw that it was missing out on something (i.e. press from big popcorn deals), and started to program midnight screenings of horror films. Independently-made but highly commercial movies like Saw and Wolf Creek debuted at Sundance, where they were acquired (Lions Gate and Harvey, respectively) and released to good financial success (great, in the case of Saw). So Sundance had jumped in on the territory that Slamdance had monopolized in the Park City events of each January.
The commercialization of Sundance has been much written about in the trades and in popular media (and now here – never claimed to be the most original grumpster). In response to the increasing conclusion, fair or not, that the festival had lost its roots, the programmers of Sundance announced that they were rededicating the festival to showing what it was previously known for, the independent voice. Sundance was stepping away, starting in 2007, from commercial projects. And the press preceding the festival seems to indicate that they’ve done just that, at least to a degree. Now there is concern from Studio execs that there wont be a Little Miss Sunshine or Wolf Creek in this year’s crop.
We’ll see, I am still on the plane so I am going to reserve judgment (at least until I get to baggage claim). Besides, I am just here for the parties and the girls.
Not really. Well, sort of.
Yeah, it’s a business.
(To be continued)
I’m going dancing. Sundancing. Slamdancing. I’m in a “festive” mood (yeah, believe it). I’m here as a production executive on something called “The Ten,” which the Hollywood reporter would have you believe is one of the two biggest buzz movies of Sundance. Look it up. I am also here for the Slamdance Horror Script Competition, which I am sponsoring and from which, I will be producing a horror movie this year.
Where was I. Oh yeah.
Sundance and Slamdance, two of the largest film festivals in the world, both take place in Park City during the last weeks of January. The story goes that Robert Redford had bought property in the area and was looking for a mechanism to develop the property into something more valuable than beautiful mountainside. Sundance, indirectly, was born out of that need.
When Sundance started, it was a much smaller deal. Films were much more “independent” in nature, meaning that they didn’t have big name actors, producers, and certainly not the parade of agents, and producer’s reps and sales agents that films at the festival today do. There were no bidding wars over the most “commercial films” at the festival, because there really weren’t enough bidders, or the films of that nature to bid on.
Through the early nineties, as Sundance matured, and after Miramax (now the fellas at the Weinstein Co.) had done a great job making indies chic again, for the first time since the early seventies, audiences actively looking for something different informed the money guys the best way they know how. They went to see movies that were not made within the studio system. They went to see Pulp Fiction (which is, I guess, an example that jumps to mind, but it of course began well before 1994).
Anyway, with the studios, and hence agents, managers, sales reps, and various comglomerates now interested in the “indie,” the face of the indie film changed. This of course was assisted along the way by the studios increasing interest in producing (as opposed to acquiring) only formula movies and tent poles, and their waning interest in kudos-type films (except for a couple per year, not nearly enough to keep actors in the hills filled to the brim with accolade). A-listers began slumming on low-budget projects, things that they thought might be more likely to (1) reinvigorate a career or (2) get the coveted academy award nomination. With this increased attention, the trickle down began, movies, good and bad, with stars heretofore beyond the means of their budgets, began pounding on the gates of Park City, looking for the magic popcorn deals (called that because the sale takes place between the sales rep and the producer in the lobby of the movie theater while the audience is still on their feet, giving the director and cast a standing ovation – anyway, that’s how the dream goes).
So when the stars and their producers and the agents and their lackeys and corporate cronies started pounding on the doors, Sundance grew and grew.
And then, there was digital.
And it was good. Once in a while.
The digital cameras developed in the eighties and improved in the nineties made it possible for almost anyone with a little bit of money to make a movie (which is a long stretch from saying that they should have made a movie). In any event, with the cheap technology, and no need to buy or develop film stock, the numbers of indies being made in the nineties skyrocketed.
Needless to say (Many sucked).
I’ll go further. Most sucked. Of course, that’s not to say they are worse than the many of the studio movies, but they didn’t have the marketing pull of those movies, with few of these micro budget films having stars or story lines that were well suited…
I’m rambling. I’m sorry. Point is, that they were a lot more movies, both made with bigger budgets and stars, and most with either Steve Buscemi or that guy who played the drug dealer in Pulp Fiction. You know, the guy from Some Kind Of Wonderful. I can’t remember his name right now. But you know the guy.
Sundance was flooded with these A-listers and international productions, and the smaller indies mostly were squeezed out, particularly genre movies (horror) and comedies (well, to be clear, they were never really invited). In the ultra-serious Sundance, there was no room for them, most of the time.
Thus, the wicked stepbrother of Sundance, Slamdance, was born. Fouunder by Dan Mirvish and Peter Baxter, Slamdance began as an itty-bitty alternative festival up the street from Sundance, taking place simultaneously. Like a remora, but in a good way.
The remora grew until it became pretty darn big. Seventh largest film festival in the world. That’s a big fish.
Still, it provided a more “indie,” less Hollywood alternative to the events in Park City. And it still does. Slamdance has movies with names, but isn’t focused on stars. In a weird way, though, Slamdance, because of the interest of the programmers in the horror genre and in documentaries, has been successful to some degree in breeding a commercial outlet for the films it shows as well (Mad Hot Ballroom was a big sale at Slamdance in recent years). As some of you may know, Hollywood is a little bit interested in horror (like a new one every other weekend in wide theatrical release) but hasn’t necessarily had the best luck in coming up with new franchises (see, e.g. remakes of every seventies and eighties horror film currently in release or being remade). So its always looking to buy.
Anyhoo, as the horror craze continued, Sundance, which had focused on drama, saw that it was missing out on something (i.e. press from big popcorn deals), and started to program midnight screenings of horror films. Independently-made but highly commercial movies like Saw and Wolf Creek debuted at Sundance, where they were acquired (Lions Gate and Harvey, respectively) and released to good financial success (great, in the case of Saw). So Sundance had jumped in on the territory that Slamdance had monopolized in the Park City events of each January.
The commercialization of Sundance has been much written about in the trades and in popular media (and now here – never claimed to be the most original grumpster). In response to the increasing conclusion, fair or not, that the festival had lost its roots, the programmers of Sundance announced that they were rededicating the festival to showing what it was previously known for, the independent voice. Sundance was stepping away, starting in 2007, from commercial projects. And the press preceding the festival seems to indicate that they’ve done just that, at least to a degree. Now there is concern from Studio execs that there wont be a Little Miss Sunshine or Wolf Creek in this year’s crop.
We’ll see, I am still on the plane so I am going to reserve judgment (at least until I get to baggage claim). Besides, I am just here for the parties and the girls.
Not really. Well, sort of.
Yeah, it’s a business.
(To be continued)
Thursday, January 18, 2007
A Classic
On the day before I leave for Slamdance and Sundance (yes, in that order), I have another review of a movie. Not so much a review, perhaps, as a series of superlative accolades.
Many movies don’t stand the test of time. There are movies that are absolutely resoundingly well-thought of when they come out, but this approval doesn’t last. There are aspects of a movie that stale, like old milk, in some cases. This can be the case despite great performances, terrific scores, imaginative editing, or a great script. For whatever reason, a movie can fall off. Usually one of these items (often the screenplay) loses its timeliness, its edge. It can become trite. It can be antiquated. For whatever reason, its no longer what it is.
And then there are movies like Risky Business. Made in 1980 by Warner Brother with a young Tom Cruise as Joel Goodson, this movie, which was quite popular across age groups when it came out, isn’t necessarily mentioned as a great film when people talk about the best movies of the 80’s. That is a wrongful omission. This film, to me and my perhaps less than fully trained eye, is one of the very best films of its genre, and of the eighties. Its simply fantastic, and hasn’t lost the edge it had when it came out. Not a bit.
(Forgive me for sounding like a Peter Travers review, but its true).
The story of a teenager left home by his parents, getting into trouble, became a staple of Hollywood’s teen genre (see, e.g. Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead, Adventures in Babysitting, Weird Science and Sixteen Candles (at least the party) to name a few). But none of these movies did this nearly as well as Paul Brickman’s entry to the genre that became one of the princes of the box office and the source of doppelgangers to this day (See, the pleasant but somewhat punchless The Girl Next Door).
Why does the movie stand up so well? I think there are a few reasons. First, the writing, acting, music and editing are all top notch. Richard Chew, the editor, has quite the pedigree, working with Milos Forman on One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and George Lucas on the original Star Wars (with Marcia Lucas editing as well). The Tangerine Dream score was ultra modern then, and still holds a minimalist sound that works terrifically in movies today. And the acting, well, bundle together some names of people that went on to substantial careers, even besides Cruise, like Curtis Armstrong, Joe Pantoliano, Bronson Pinchot, Richard Masur (as the Princeton Interviewer) and Rebecca De Morney at her very best, and you have a cast that, in a terrifically directed understated way, moves the story along with an urgency that puts you on the edge of your seat for the whole ride.
So go rent it, or buy it. Particularly if you haven’t seen it (I don’t know how popular the film was outside the US, so maybe some non-US readers haven’t seen it). Even if you aren’t a Tom Cruise fan, I don’t think you should be deterred. It is, frankly, too good to miss.
Go ahead, take a chance. Sometimes you just gotta say, "What the fuck, make your move."
Many movies don’t stand the test of time. There are movies that are absolutely resoundingly well-thought of when they come out, but this approval doesn’t last. There are aspects of a movie that stale, like old milk, in some cases. This can be the case despite great performances, terrific scores, imaginative editing, or a great script. For whatever reason, a movie can fall off. Usually one of these items (often the screenplay) loses its timeliness, its edge. It can become trite. It can be antiquated. For whatever reason, its no longer what it is.
And then there are movies like Risky Business. Made in 1980 by Warner Brother with a young Tom Cruise as Joel Goodson, this movie, which was quite popular across age groups when it came out, isn’t necessarily mentioned as a great film when people talk about the best movies of the 80’s. That is a wrongful omission. This film, to me and my perhaps less than fully trained eye, is one of the very best films of its genre, and of the eighties. Its simply fantastic, and hasn’t lost the edge it had when it came out. Not a bit.
(Forgive me for sounding like a Peter Travers review, but its true).
The story of a teenager left home by his parents, getting into trouble, became a staple of Hollywood’s teen genre (see, e.g. Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead, Adventures in Babysitting, Weird Science and Sixteen Candles (at least the party) to name a few). But none of these movies did this nearly as well as Paul Brickman’s entry to the genre that became one of the princes of the box office and the source of doppelgangers to this day (See, the pleasant but somewhat punchless The Girl Next Door).
Why does the movie stand up so well? I think there are a few reasons. First, the writing, acting, music and editing are all top notch. Richard Chew, the editor, has quite the pedigree, working with Milos Forman on One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and George Lucas on the original Star Wars (with Marcia Lucas editing as well). The Tangerine Dream score was ultra modern then, and still holds a minimalist sound that works terrifically in movies today. And the acting, well, bundle together some names of people that went on to substantial careers, even besides Cruise, like Curtis Armstrong, Joe Pantoliano, Bronson Pinchot, Richard Masur (as the Princeton Interviewer) and Rebecca De Morney at her very best, and you have a cast that, in a terrifically directed understated way, moves the story along with an urgency that puts you on the edge of your seat for the whole ride.
So go rent it, or buy it. Particularly if you haven’t seen it (I don’t know how popular the film was outside the US, so maybe some non-US readers haven’t seen it). Even if you aren’t a Tom Cruise fan, I don’t think you should be deterred. It is, frankly, too good to miss.
Go ahead, take a chance. Sometimes you just gotta say, "What the fuck, make your move."
Monday, January 15, 2007
From The Onion, C. 1999 - Hyde Predicted.
HOLLYWOOD, CA—In what entertainment-industry insiders are calling "an exciting new development," the vagina of aspiring actress Sierra Nicole Lennox, 20, was photographed Monday from a variety of alluring angles.
The photo session is widely regarded as the first step on the road to fame and fortune for the young actress, who film and TV executives throughout the greater Los Angeles area are calling a "striking, white-hot new talent" with a "really great-looking vagina."
"I'm extremely excited about this latest career move," a bathrobed Lennox told reporters shortly after completing principal photography. "I've already seen some of the initial demo photos and, if I do say so myself, my vagina looks fantastic. But I want everyone to understand that this is only the beginning. Once these pictures of my vagina start getting circulated and creating a 'buzz' around town, I'll be able to move on to what I'm really interested in doing: starring in and perhaps directing major motion pictures."
"I'm not just another pretty vagina," Lennox added.
According to semi-professional talent agent Murray Pisarcik, 49, who photographed the young woman's genitals in the basement studio of his Van Nuys home, Lennox's vagina "definitely has what it takes" to propel her to Hollywood superstardom.
"Sierra's vagina is really something special. In this town, aspiring starlets are a dime a dozen. But she's not like the other girls you see waiting to be discovered at the counter of the Denny's on Sunset Boulevard," Pisarcik said. "She's got the kind of vagina that just lights up a room."
Lennox, born Dolores Ellen Niehrud, was known as "the prettiest girl in town" in her hometown of Olathe, KS, where she was the star of her high-school drama club, starring in Oklahoma!, The Music Man and Pippin before moving on to study theater at Emporia (KS) Community College. Though her talent continued to blossom at ECC, she said she quickly realized her ambitions were bigger than Kansas could hold. Within six months, she was waitressing in L.A.
"Emporia was great, but I soon figured out that Hollywood was where the action was," Lennox said. "I had talent, but I knew I couldn't sit around forever. I had to go for it while the time was ripe. After all, my vagina wasn't getting any younger."
Explaining the decision to have her vagina photographed, Lennox said: "When you're just starting out like I am, you need to do something special to stand out from the crowd. You need to get yourself noticed and create a 'buzz,' and showing people your vagina is a great way to do that."
Though Pisarcik said he and Lennox are still weighing their options regarding the vaginal pics, the photographer said several "very attractive offers" are currently on the table. "I've got a possible sale already lined up to www.eagerbeaverz.com, and both Gent and Swank have expressed interest," Pisarcik said. "So the industry response is definitely there."
"Remember this vagina," Pisarcik added, holding up an 8x10 glossy of Lennox's pubis. "Take a good look now, because before long, everybody's who's anybody will recognize it. This vagina's on a one-way rocket-ship ride to the top, baby!"
Industry power players who have seen advance copies of the photos agreed that Lennox's vagina has real star power.
"This is the kind of vagina you see once, maybe twice in a lifetime," said Paramount Pictures executive Barry Wolk. "I predict Sierra Nicole Lennox will be the next Glenn Close. Photos don't lie: That's talent, baby. Sheer, unadulterated talent."
"Just look at this vagina," agreed Andrew Black of 20th Century Fox. "The camera loves it. With a knockout vagina like this, the girl can't miss."
For all her success, Lennox admitted she had her doubts at first.
"When I first moved to Hollywood, sure, I was scared. I thought, 'What if I'm not good enough? What if people don't like my vagina?'" she said. "You hear so many horror stories about how this town eats people alive. But I've found that's all a myth. Everyone I've met has been so supportive and friendly, especially when it comes to taking pictures of my pubic region."
"I just know I'm going to be a big star," Lennox added, smiling brightly. "All my hard work is finally paying off."
With success and fame just around the corner, Lennox and Pisarcik are planning a weekend getaway to the Tarzana, CA, Motel 6 to reflect on her big break and ponder the next move.
"We're on our way," said Pisarcik, packing hurriedly. "I told Sierra she could make the biggest debut splash since Meryl Streep appeared in Naked Nymphos back in 1976. But we're not letting success go to our heads. We're going to handle this well. Sierra's going to have a lot of decisions to make as far as what projects she wants to take on. As for me, once the money starts rolling in, I'm going to pay my back alimony and take care of my debts at the dogtrack."
"Sure, the initial rush of getting my big break is exhilarating," Lennox said, "but this is only the beginning. I bring a lot more to the table than just a great vagina. I'm bursting with energy and willing to do whatever it takes to make it. So get ready, Tinseltown: I'm gonna spread my wings and show the whole world just what Sierra Nicole Lennox is all about.
The photo session is widely regarded as the first step on the road to fame and fortune for the young actress, who film and TV executives throughout the greater Los Angeles area are calling a "striking, white-hot new talent" with a "really great-looking vagina."
"I'm extremely excited about this latest career move," a bathrobed Lennox told reporters shortly after completing principal photography. "I've already seen some of the initial demo photos and, if I do say so myself, my vagina looks fantastic. But I want everyone to understand that this is only the beginning. Once these pictures of my vagina start getting circulated and creating a 'buzz' around town, I'll be able to move on to what I'm really interested in doing: starring in and perhaps directing major motion pictures."
"I'm not just another pretty vagina," Lennox added.
According to semi-professional talent agent Murray Pisarcik, 49, who photographed the young woman's genitals in the basement studio of his Van Nuys home, Lennox's vagina "definitely has what it takes" to propel her to Hollywood superstardom.
"Sierra's vagina is really something special. In this town, aspiring starlets are a dime a dozen. But she's not like the other girls you see waiting to be discovered at the counter of the Denny's on Sunset Boulevard," Pisarcik said. "She's got the kind of vagina that just lights up a room."
Lennox, born Dolores Ellen Niehrud, was known as "the prettiest girl in town" in her hometown of Olathe, KS, where she was the star of her high-school drama club, starring in Oklahoma!, The Music Man and Pippin before moving on to study theater at Emporia (KS) Community College. Though her talent continued to blossom at ECC, she said she quickly realized her ambitions were bigger than Kansas could hold. Within six months, she was waitressing in L.A.
"Emporia was great, but I soon figured out that Hollywood was where the action was," Lennox said. "I had talent, but I knew I couldn't sit around forever. I had to go for it while the time was ripe. After all, my vagina wasn't getting any younger."
Explaining the decision to have her vagina photographed, Lennox said: "When you're just starting out like I am, you need to do something special to stand out from the crowd. You need to get yourself noticed and create a 'buzz,' and showing people your vagina is a great way to do that."
Though Pisarcik said he and Lennox are still weighing their options regarding the vaginal pics, the photographer said several "very attractive offers" are currently on the table. "I've got a possible sale already lined up to www.eagerbeaverz.com, and both Gent and Swank have expressed interest," Pisarcik said. "So the industry response is definitely there."
"Remember this vagina," Pisarcik added, holding up an 8x10 glossy of Lennox's pubis. "Take a good look now, because before long, everybody's who's anybody will recognize it. This vagina's on a one-way rocket-ship ride to the top, baby!"
Industry power players who have seen advance copies of the photos agreed that Lennox's vagina has real star power.
"This is the kind of vagina you see once, maybe twice in a lifetime," said Paramount Pictures executive Barry Wolk. "I predict Sierra Nicole Lennox will be the next Glenn Close. Photos don't lie: That's talent, baby. Sheer, unadulterated talent."
"Just look at this vagina," agreed Andrew Black of 20th Century Fox. "The camera loves it. With a knockout vagina like this, the girl can't miss."
For all her success, Lennox admitted she had her doubts at first.
"When I first moved to Hollywood, sure, I was scared. I thought, 'What if I'm not good enough? What if people don't like my vagina?'" she said. "You hear so many horror stories about how this town eats people alive. But I've found that's all a myth. Everyone I've met has been so supportive and friendly, especially when it comes to taking pictures of my pubic region."
"I just know I'm going to be a big star," Lennox added, smiling brightly. "All my hard work is finally paying off."
With success and fame just around the corner, Lennox and Pisarcik are planning a weekend getaway to the Tarzana, CA, Motel 6 to reflect on her big break and ponder the next move.
"We're on our way," said Pisarcik, packing hurriedly. "I told Sierra she could make the biggest debut splash since Meryl Streep appeared in Naked Nymphos back in 1976. But we're not letting success go to our heads. We're going to handle this well. Sierra's going to have a lot of decisions to make as far as what projects she wants to take on. As for me, once the money starts rolling in, I'm going to pay my back alimony and take care of my debts at the dogtrack."
"Sure, the initial rush of getting my big break is exhilarating," Lennox said, "but this is only the beginning. I bring a lot more to the table than just a great vagina. I'm bursting with energy and willing to do whatever it takes to make it. So get ready, Tinseltown: I'm gonna spread my wings and show the whole world just what Sierra Nicole Lennox is all about.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Everything Is, Indeed, Illuminated
Just saw a great somewhat unknown movie (at least unknown in relation to how great it is). I don’t really do reviews for many of the reasons I’ve previously stated here. Like I don’t know who reads this blog and I don’t want to badmouth people that I work with, want to work with, might want to work with, my friends work with and I might meet. And in general, there isn’t a whole lot of need for me to negative about other people’s work. Its not like I expect everything I will ever do to be Academy Award worthy.
But that shouldn’t stop me from making reviews of things that are great. Right? Because if you don’t have anything bad to say, then why shouldn’t you feel happy to say it.
Everything Is Illuminated, which was directed by Liev Schreiber, and starring Elijah Wood. It’s a comedic, and subtly ethereal journey through the past of the Ukraine into a personal history of two families during the Holocaust. Its beautifully photographed, classic cinema based on character development and an intriguing story. Schreiber wrote the screenplay as well, which was based on the book by the same title by Jonathan Safren. While certain reviews have said that Liev greatly simplified the storyline from the book, I see a lot of depth in the way the movie brings across the tales that the characters want to portray. I haven’t read the book, but I don’t see this as a simple film at all. In any event, I hope you all will take the time to see it. Its worth your time.
Grumpy.
But that shouldn’t stop me from making reviews of things that are great. Right? Because if you don’t have anything bad to say, then why shouldn’t you feel happy to say it.
Everything Is Illuminated, which was directed by Liev Schreiber, and starring Elijah Wood. It’s a comedic, and subtly ethereal journey through the past of the Ukraine into a personal history of two families during the Holocaust. Its beautifully photographed, classic cinema based on character development and an intriguing story. Schreiber wrote the screenplay as well, which was based on the book by the same title by Jonathan Safren. While certain reviews have said that Liev greatly simplified the storyline from the book, I see a lot of depth in the way the movie brings across the tales that the characters want to portray. I haven’t read the book, but I don’t see this as a simple film at all. In any event, I hope you all will take the time to see it. Its worth your time.
Grumpy.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Under the (Rather Temperate) Weather
I used to never get sick. Never. To the point where I was always able to say that I never get sick. I may miss work, but I never missed work because I was sick. I don’t have to miss work anymore because I don’t hate work anymore. I like work. Now I miss work because I am sick. And I am sick.
Now I can work from home, to some degree. It’s a little bit easier to meet with people when I am in the office, and not in pajamas. Though not impossible. I have great feet.
One of the things I’ve been doing from home this weekend is working as a co-producer of the National Board of Review Annual Gala, being held this year at Cipriani. The NBR is the oldest film critics organization in the country, and my biz partner in Angel Baby Entertainment, John Gallagher, has been involved with the NBR for years, having done everything from host screenings to write speeches and co-produce the Gala. Well, this year he’s producing the whole thing, for the first year at Cipriani, and I am lending a hand where I can.
The NBR announces their awards first in the award’s season, rather than announcing nominees.
Here are the 2006 Honorees for the NBR.
Best Film to Clint Eastwood and Steven Spielberg.
Marty Scorsese will be there to pick up Best Director
Best Actress to Helen Mirren.
Best Actor to Forest Whitaker.
Supporting Actor to Djimon Housnou.
Supporting Actress to Catherine O'Hara.
Foreign Film to Pedro Almodovar.
Tipper Gore, Lawrence Bender, Davis Guggenheim for Best Doc – Inconvenient Truth
John Lasseter for Animated Feature Cars
Ensemble Cast to The Departed (incl. Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Mark Wahlberg and Vera Formiga)
Breakthrough Actor to Ryan Gosling
Breakthrough Actress Jennifer Hudson
Breakthrough Actress to Rinko Kikuchi
Directorial Debut to Jason Reitman for Thank You For Smoking
Orig Screenplay to Zach Helm for Stranger Than Fiction
Adapted Screenplay to Ron Nyswaner for The Painted Veil
Freedom of Expression to Deepa Mehta for Water and Oliver Stone for World Trade Center
Everson Film History Award to Donald Krim of Kino.
Career Producing to Irwin Winkler
Billy Wilder Award to Jonathan Demme
Career Achievement to Eli Wallach
And Jesse Martin is the MC.
Anyway, it’s a great list of people coming, heads of WB, Universal and Fox, and Scott Rudin as well.
Im going to the doctor Monday, I hope I feel better by Tuesday nite. Gonna be great.
Now I can work from home, to some degree. It’s a little bit easier to meet with people when I am in the office, and not in pajamas. Though not impossible. I have great feet.
One of the things I’ve been doing from home this weekend is working as a co-producer of the National Board of Review Annual Gala, being held this year at Cipriani. The NBR is the oldest film critics organization in the country, and my biz partner in Angel Baby Entertainment, John Gallagher, has been involved with the NBR for years, having done everything from host screenings to write speeches and co-produce the Gala. Well, this year he’s producing the whole thing, for the first year at Cipriani, and I am lending a hand where I can.
The NBR announces their awards first in the award’s season, rather than announcing nominees.
Here are the 2006 Honorees for the NBR.
Best Film to Clint Eastwood and Steven Spielberg.
Marty Scorsese will be there to pick up Best Director
Best Actress to Helen Mirren.
Best Actor to Forest Whitaker.
Supporting Actor to Djimon Housnou.
Supporting Actress to Catherine O'Hara.
Foreign Film to Pedro Almodovar.
Tipper Gore, Lawrence Bender, Davis Guggenheim for Best Doc – Inconvenient Truth
John Lasseter for Animated Feature Cars
Ensemble Cast to The Departed (incl. Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Mark Wahlberg and Vera Formiga)
Breakthrough Actor to Ryan Gosling
Breakthrough Actress Jennifer Hudson
Breakthrough Actress to Rinko Kikuchi
Directorial Debut to Jason Reitman for Thank You For Smoking
Orig Screenplay to Zach Helm for Stranger Than Fiction
Adapted Screenplay to Ron Nyswaner for The Painted Veil
Freedom of Expression to Deepa Mehta for Water and Oliver Stone for World Trade Center
Everson Film History Award to Donald Krim of Kino.
Career Producing to Irwin Winkler
Billy Wilder Award to Jonathan Demme
Career Achievement to Eli Wallach
And Jesse Martin is the MC.
Anyway, it’s a great list of people coming, heads of WB, Universal and Fox, and Scott Rudin as well.
Im going to the doctor Monday, I hope I feel better by Tuesday nite. Gonna be great.
Friday, January 05, 2007
That Guy (Top 10) - Continued
Another long gap in time. Sue me. I've been busy and i think i friggin have walking pneumonia. Walkin friggin pneumonia. At least it didnt stop me from gettin busy in South Beach, aight. More on the South Beach trip, tomorrow. I dont expect to be moving around much this weekend. Want to shake this damn bug. Anyway, lets finish up this list.
***********
OK. So I don’t blog for a week. More than a week. Now I am home for Saturday night, writing, sitting around, reading old movie reviews at RogerEbert.com (which I very much recommend) and I thought of a good list post, so even though I just posted, I wanna start this one off. The list is one Happy will definitely appreciate – It’s the “That’s the Guy From” List, meaning a list of the character actors that we have seen a million times, but their names have never quite crossed into the public consciousness (based upon normal people’s knowledge, not yours, Happy).
So lets hit it. (Again).
MORE UPDATES (JAN. 6th)
1. The recently deparated John Spencer, known well for the West Wing (like Alison Janney), but great in Presumed Innocent, Copland and more.
2. Charles Napier and Tracy Walter. A couple of great Jonathan Demme company members.
3. Brion James - While best known as Kehoe in 48 Hours, he was, until his death, a stalwart of B actioners, and the occasional big Hollywood movie, including the Player, Striking Distance, Tango and Cash (gulp) and Red Heat (double gulp).
4. Vincent Schiavelli - With that unmistakeable mug, the face of a corpse (he actually died this year), appearing in movies from Cuckoo’s Nest to Batman Returns to Better Off Dead.
5. Wallace Shawn - Best known as The Sicilian from The Princess Bride. "Never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line."
6. Henry Silva - Always the bad guy, in so many different cultures, too.
7. Alison Janney - A happy choice.
8. Tony Goldwyn - Shouldn't be on this list, too good an actor (and quite the acting coach as well, apparently.
9. Dan Hedaya - One of the top character actors over the past twenty five years. Made his mark first in Coen brothers movies and on Cheers, as Nick Tortelli.
10. Frank Whaley - Great in Swimming With Sharks, a personal fave. Also a good director, but number seven on the whose that guy list (no Its not a Madonna song).
***********
OK. So I don’t blog for a week. More than a week. Now I am home for Saturday night, writing, sitting around, reading old movie reviews at RogerEbert.com (which I very much recommend) and I thought of a good list post, so even though I just posted, I wanna start this one off. The list is one Happy will definitely appreciate – It’s the “That’s the Guy From” List, meaning a list of the character actors that we have seen a million times, but their names have never quite crossed into the public consciousness (based upon normal people’s knowledge, not yours, Happy).
So lets hit it. (Again).
MORE UPDATES (JAN. 6th)
1. The recently deparated John Spencer, known well for the West Wing (like Alison Janney), but great in Presumed Innocent, Copland and more.
2. Charles Napier and Tracy Walter. A couple of great Jonathan Demme company members.
3. Brion James - While best known as Kehoe in 48 Hours, he was, until his death, a stalwart of B actioners, and the occasional big Hollywood movie, including the Player, Striking Distance, Tango and Cash (gulp) and Red Heat (double gulp).
4. Vincent Schiavelli - With that unmistakeable mug, the face of a corpse (he actually died this year), appearing in movies from Cuckoo’s Nest to Batman Returns to Better Off Dead.
5. Wallace Shawn - Best known as The Sicilian from The Princess Bride. "Never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line."
6. Henry Silva - Always the bad guy, in so many different cultures, too.
7. Alison Janney - A happy choice.
8. Tony Goldwyn - Shouldn't be on this list, too good an actor (and quite the acting coach as well, apparently.
9. Dan Hedaya - One of the top character actors over the past twenty five years. Made his mark first in Coen brothers movies and on Cheers, as Nick Tortelli.
10. Frank Whaley - Great in Swimming With Sharks, a personal fave. Also a good director, but number seven on the whose that guy list (no Its not a Madonna song).
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