Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Airplane Blogging

Wrote this a few weeks back. Wasnt sure i was going to post, but what the hell.


*****
Long indeed but I won't be starting with any apologies faithful reader. How hollow would that ring when we both know that this blog is merely a tickle in my side only at 33000 feet it seems.

Emotionally one of the roughest experiences in years. A colleague, friend, confidant, a terrible late night argument. Him aggressive and accusatory and myself defensive and denying. It seems that there was a lot more bad blood between us than I would have thought and for whatever reason it all came flowing out that night. By the end of the argument it had degenerated to name calling in the loudest of volumes. I haven't screamed like that in anger, fury, for years. After hanging up he deleted me as a facebook friend and emailed that he didn't want to know me, work with me, ever again. Will see what happens, If a detente is possible but I don't know. Its not just what was said but the feelings behind it were so full of anger. Regardless of apologies or anything else, don't those remain. Its difficult to be told by someone that virtually everyone that knows us in common thinks you are an asshole, that you are the most selfish person that only looks out for themselves. That you are to blame, largely for a huge mess which was brought upon you by others and which you did your best to rectify. Emotionally I'm still rather spent and raw. Recovering. I woke that morning after with a hangover in fact even though I hadn't had anything to drink. I've spent a fair amount of time discussing those accusations with friends and thinking about them myself. Some I can disregard I believe and some perhaps have an element of truth. I'm not perfect and I can strive to be nicer to people . Ill do that.

Whew.

I'm actually Blogging on my phone as my laptop is out of juice. Its making me less verbose than normal. About to land in austin. Here with Steve hentges hunger and looking forward to seeing some of the most laid back city in America.

Grumps.

2 comments:

Dawn said...

I hope that it works out whatever way you want it to.

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