I hate Tony Parker.

I hate Tony Parker.

Unbelievable. I am in a fantasy basketball league (that’s the dorky, perhaps, yet not unbelievable part). I make it all the way to the finals for the first time (I’ve been to the finals multiple times in baseball and football leagues, which are equally dorky- although like ten million Americans play fantasy sports so I am not alone in my dorkiness). And then, I’m beset by unexpected injuries. One player sits out the whole week. And another misses a game, and yet, halfway through this afternoon, Sunday, I am in a great position to win.

And then, Tony Parker. Yes, Eva Longoria’s husband, has an impossibly bad game (at least according to the rules of our league). If he had even had a game halfway decent, half his scoring average, I cement a win first place, bragging rights and an additional four hundred dollars.

On top of that, even so, my opponent is having a somewhat dreadful Sunday himself, and so it comes down to Allen Iverson. I am clinging to a small lead. Iverson is facing one of the worst teams in the NBA, a team his should blow out. Instead, he plays the whole game and as regulation winds up, I still have my lead. But the Nuggets cannot put away the Sonics, and the game ends regulation in a tie. And sports fans, you know what that means? Overtime.

They go to overtime, of course he scores some more, and I’m in second place. No extra 400 (I did win 850 or something like that) – no passing go.

But wait (Live bloggin here), the punishment continues. The first overtime has just ended in a tie, sending the game into double overtime. Now I should point out, a player can actually lose points by missing shots, so that he could end up with less points after second overtime then he had after the first. Right now I am still in second. He’d have to miss a few shots in 2OT and then I’d have a chance. Basically, what wounded me when they tied after the regulation has just wounded my opponent when they were tied after the first OT>

He just missed another one. It’s a virtual tie now. But I know this. I know how its gonna end. Its just a tease. If the game ended right now, its my win, by .25 points. Now realize that this is a two week playoff. And it we’ve both scored 2000 points or so (each). And its down to the end, and a quarter of a single point. In the 24th week of the season. So its that kind of tease.

He’s just missed again. I cannot believe I’d have a chance. This is a loss. It’s a loss until its game over. And now, he’s just missed two free throws. That’s another minus two.

I cannot believe that this could possibly go my way. Down to 1:19 left (unless they end in a tie for the third time). I’m still ahead. Barely. One basket by AI and I’m behind again.

As a good friend of mine says, “Sucks balls.” She means it too. Its gonna suck balls for one of us. Probably me.

Down to 16 seconds now. And it’s a five point game so it looks like this is gonna be it.

Down to 10 seconds now. A missed shot by Denver, Seattle going to the line. And Iverson just scores a layup. See – always fucks you in the end. That last two pointer, unbelievable. I am now behind by .25. Gonna lose on the shitty meaningless two pointer with five seconds left.

This is the worst loss – so much worse having witnessed the whole thing. I should have just turned it off. This was like watching someone taking your fingernails off.

Looks like that’s it. Unless the box scores are revised – Im losing by a fucking quarter of a point.

Like I said, I hate Tony Parker.